Ok I have to work on a movie for school with this kid, who is a bad writer, I normally would not chose to work with him but I need a good grade so I have to. Here is the script if you have any idea on how to make it better please post it.


EXT. THE WASH - DAY

We see a man walking on a bike path, He sees a tree rattle. He
looks and thinks it's someone.

MAN
Hello? Who's there?

The monster looks at the man. What we see is the vision of the
monster (This is represented by a fish eye lens). The man
hears a roar and the monster charges toward him, He screams
and the monster eats him. We hear a roar as we fade to the
next scene.

FADE


EXT. PARK - DAY

CHRIS(15) Is sitting at a park bench drinking water next to an unknown
man who is reading a paper.

CHRIS
(To man)
Hey there, what are you reading
about?

MAN
I was just reading about those
disappearances.

CHRIS
What disappearances?

MAN
Didn't you hear? Like 19 people
have gone missing.

CHRIS
Really?

MAN
Whats your name?

CHRIS
Chris.

MAN
Well, Chris, I'll let you in on a
little secret of mine.

The man moves in closer to Chris.

MAN
(Whispers)
I think something killed those
people... I think aliens did it...

CHRIS
You've got to be crazy! Aliens?

MAN
It could be aliens, Didn't you hear
about that meteor about 10 miles
north?

CHRIS
(Sarcasticly)
Yeah. What are you trying to say,
you think an alien spaceship
crashed and killed people?

Chris laughs.

MAN
(In an angry manner)
You've made fun of me for the last
time kid. You're gonna die!

Chris gets up and leaves.

MAN
(Crazily)
I'll tell you boy! You're gonna
die! Die! This curse upon you!

DIRECT CUT


EXT. FIELD - DAY

Chris and JOHN(15) go to a field to play catch.

Chris throws the ball to john.

CHRIS
You know, this funny thing happened
earlier this afternoon. This crazy
old guy was just yelling about
these aliens murdering people. He's nuts,
I swear.

John throws the ball back to Chris.

JOHN
Well there have been some murders,
but I don't know about aliens.

Chris throws the ball at john too hard, in as much as the ball
passes him. John runs after the ball, as he picks up the
ball he hears a scream, He turns around and sees that Chris
is gone.

JOHN
Chris?

John runs up the hill and sees Chris lying on the floor
dead. John starts to run. The camera then switches to
monster mode, this is from the perspective of the monster,
We see through a fish eye lens. John continues to run away.

DIRECT CUT


EXT. BUILDING - DAY

John is talking to detective AL ( ).

AL
Chris, he's your friend right?

JOHN
Yes.

AL
What happened?

JOHN
Well, it happened when I turned to
go get a ball, we were playing
catch, and as I was getting it I
heard a scream.

AL
Is that all? No sight of the
killer?

JOHN
No, that's all detective.

AL
You can go now.

As John walks away he passes by an old man, the same old man that
was talking to Chris earlier.

MAN
I told you're friend he would die,
But he didn't believe me, no one
every does...

John walks away

MAN
(Watching john as he walks
away)
And boy if you were smart you would
listen to me. They're coming...
They're coming! They'll kill the
whole town.

As he finishes this line he starts to laugh. The camera cuts to
John, he sees his friend HARRISON (16), He walks up to him.

HARRISON
Oh, hey man whats up, I heard about
Chris, what a shame, it would seem
that only the good die young, such
a shame.

JOHN
Yeah he was a good guy. Hey did you
see that crazy old guy over there.

The camera moves over to the crazy man, he is fiddling with something
while murmuring to himself.

HARRISON
I heard yell something along the
lines of they're coming, Do you
know what he means?

JOHN
No but I'm kind of worried, he said
to Chris that he would die, and now
Chris is dead.

HARRISON
John don't worry. If it makes you
feel better we will talk to the
police about him later.

JOHN
Ok.. thats cool... Well I have to
go, Later.

HARRISON
Later.

Harrison starts to walk over toward the parks amphitheater. He
sees his friend JAKE (15), and goes over to talk to him.

HARRISON
Hey Jake. What's up my friend?

JAKE
Not much, yourself?

HARRISON
Same here, hey do you like guitar
hero?

JAKE
Yeah, I love the game.

HARRISON
Well I just got it, want to over to
my place to play it tomorrow?

JAKE
Sure, but you know I'm going to
kick your ass.

As Jake says this last line, The camera switches to the perspective
of the monster.

FADE TO BLACK


INT. HOUSE - NIGHT AROUND 7 OR 8

We see JIMMY (15) and SCOTT (15) sitting and watching TV.

JIMMY
Dude, this show rocks!

SCOTT
Yeah.

The camera perspective of the monster, he is watching Jimmy and
Scott.

SCOTT
Be right back, tell me if anything
important happens.

JIMMY
K.

Scott walks to the bath room and shuts the door, we see the door
and hear something moving, we see a shadow on the door, the
door opens and Before Scott can make a sound the monster
jumps on him. He is dead. The camera cuts back to jimmy.

JIMMY
Scott, you alright?

No answer.

JIMMY
Scott?

He goes to the bathroom and sees the door is open. He looks inside,
what he sees is the remains of Scott, Jimmy is in shock, the
monster rises up and attacks him, as he attacks Jimmy he
roars, this roaring his heard as the screen fades to black.

FADE TO BLACK


EXT. HARRISON'S HOUSE - DAY

Jake is walking to Harrison's house, He knocks on the door, Harrison
answers.

JAKE
Hey man.

HARRISON
Hey, come in.

Jake walks in. Harrison starts to set up guitar hero.

HARRISON
So, I think you might have been
right.

JAKE
What do you mean?

HARRISON
Well I was watching the news and it
said 2 people were found dead,
there bodies were all ripped up.

JAKE
Brutal.

HARRISON
I know, but they didn't find any
signs of a killer, I think it might
be that old man.

JAKE
I do too, but no ones going to
listen to us without any proof so
for now lets just play guitar hero.

HARRISON
Right.

They play guitar hero for a bit then they hear a crash.

HARRISON
What the hell was that?

JAKE
I'll go check.

Jake goes into the hallway where they heard the crash.

JAKE
(While in the hallway)
I don't see anything.

HARRISON
Alright.

The 2 of them go back to playing guitar hero.

HARRISON
Hey, I be right back, gotta use the
bathroom.

JAKE
Hurry up.

Harrison goes to the bathroom. Jake sits on the couch, When Harrison
comes out of the bathroom he hears a roar. The monster comes
toward Harrison. Jake sees the monster and runs out of the
house.

HARRISON
Jake! Don't leave me!

JAKE
Fuck you man, I'm getting out of
here!

HARRISON
Oh god damn it.

The monster eats Harrison.

DIRECT CUT


EXT. PARK - DAY

Jake goes to the park and sits down next to the man.

JAKE
What are you reading?

MAN
An article about the
disappearances, I warned everybody,
I told them it was a monster, but
no I'm just crazy, but look...

He says this line half laughing.

MAN
There dead, and the rest will be
soon...

He starts to grin.

MAN
You left your friend, didn't you.

JAKE
How- how the hell do you know?

MAN
It's in me... it doesn't matter if
you believe me or not, it's there
and your going to die.

As he says this he smiles and starts to laugh.

JAKE
You're... you're crazy!

Jake runs away, as he does the man laughs to himself.

MAN
He's coming.

THE END